I recall being in the midst of putting my life back together after battling a deep depression during my teenage years. I was beginning to see the bright side of life. I had recently gotten married and we adopted a dog. I was going through the motions, existing, but not living. Lost. On the outside spectators would have said that my life was “good.” The difference between an outsiders perception verses the reality can be startling. I was missing some pieces and I knew it. It was that sort of incomplete feeling that you get when you’re hungry for something but you don’t know what you want to eat (the foodie in me see’s it that way at least.) I was desperate for more out of life– for purpose.
It was the spring of 2010 approaching the season of Lent. Lent is period of 40 days prior to Easter observed for fasting, prayer, repentance, and reflection on God and Jesus sacrifice. That’s when I was having a random conversation with my mom who said, “Angie, the Lord has put it on my heart to cut off that TV and stay in His word.” That statement was a light bulb, a flash of lightning, a drop of water in a hot pan, and a shiver down my spine. My spirit completely and utterly agreed and I said, “Mom, I’ll do it too!” She was caught by complete surprise because until this point I never fasted seriously for anything worth-wild (except perhaps to lose a few pounds.)
In that moment I decided that I would go on a quest to find God. I made up in my mind that I wanted a deeper connection with The Creator. I believed that He was more than just a “Sunday God” and I wanted to find Him for myself and understand my purpose. I became completely and utterly convinced that God could hear me, and that He could see me and that He would give me a sign that He was there. I made a conscious choice to believe.
After you have your spiritual goals in mind, consider what the perimeters of your fast will be and what you will be denying yourself in order to gain spiritually. I went on a 40 day television/social media fast because that is what self-denial meant to me. If I had gone on some sort of fast from food my vain and superficial motivations would have gotten in the way of my desire to complete a spiritual fast. At the time, TV and social media were the things that consumed me. I would spend hours mindless sitting in front of a television and I used to get anxious just thinking about not having 24 hour access to my smartphone.
If you’re looking to go on a spiritual fast, my advice to you is to look at the unnecessary things in your life that fill your days and say “Building a relationship with God is more important to me than…” If you choose to put God first and you’re sincere, and you seek God, I promise you that He will acknowledge your effort.
Be Diligent. I didn’t have a job at the time so I had a lot of space to fill during the day and a lot of time on my hands to find God. For 40 days I would wake up in the morning, pray, meditate, and read my bible. There was no magic to this, just consistency, humility, and unwavering faith. How are you going to know God unless you know what God has said? How can there be relationship with God if there is no communication? And I know that this may be a little off topic but allow me expound upon what I mean when I say that I prayed. When I pray I don’t use extravagant words or vain formality; I talk to God as though He were my closest friend. That is how I fostered my relationship, through intelligent, sincere, and humble communication.
After a mere two weeks into my social media/television fast, I heard the voice of God for the first time. I was in prayer praising God and thanking Him for another day in His presence when I heard “I am God.” crystal clear in my ear. If I never would’ve heard another word I would have been satisfied. Just the thought of God hearing me, and acknowledging my effort filled my heart with joy and propelled me to the next level, encouraging me to complete my fast.
More information on my fast and my journey to find God can be found in my book entitled The Angels Are Talking.